self discovery
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Some Takeaways
This will be the last post in this series as I am starting the new year fresh and its time to leave this behind. *** Having both parents gone as adults feels so peculiar. A junior high school friend had also recently lost her dad and handling his estate described it best, she said that… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Letting Go
The attorney began our session with asking, “why did your mom do this?” And all I could say was that DW got in her ear. And she attempted to console me by saying no matter what I did or say I couldn’t compete against DW’s daily indoctrination. The stunning truth was that Māmā grew not… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Things Are Not Better in the Light
I maintained enough pleasantries to leaving with a copy of all Māmā’s legal documents from my end of September visit. Over the next 3 weeks I had to reach out to five different local law firms before I found an attorney who genuinely wanted to provide substantive answers rather than collecting a large retainer and… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: In The Dark
Māmā had not given me a copy of her Last Will and Testament despite me asking multiple times. She certainly did not provide me with a copy of the mysterious Family Trust. At no point did anyone offer me any information as if I should blindly trust them because they said so. Under the guise… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Sep 6, 2025 E-Mails Continued
SEPTEMBER 6, 2025 at 4:15 pm MY EMAIL RESPONSE AW, First of all, you called me twice on Friday, Sep 5th – 8:48 am & 8:51 am. Then you called me at 7:02 pm the same day. I didn’t respond within 17 hours and can hardly be considered as ‘non-responsive.’ Second, my brother and I just lost our mother, and I… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: No Time to Grieve
The 2 weeks after the funeral, DW called me almost every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. It got to the point that every time I heard her unique ringtone, I instantly became crossed and filled with rage. She inquired when I was going to take Daniel, when I was going to take over being… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Thursday, August 28, 2025 at 11:00 am
I had an off-site work meeting at the end of September and had planned to swing by to visit since I was within a few hours of the general area. However, it was not meant to be. I haven’t seen Daniel since he’s had his stroke. It was difficult to believe that he was only… Continue reading
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BODY RECOMP: Post Day-60
NUTRITION: My nutrition is back on track and increased my total caloric intake to 1750. I am slowly increasing by 50 calories per week to ensure no weight gain. Internally I am starting to get nervous as my Nutrition Coach had provided a roadmap to get closer to 2000 calories. Just typing that number is… Continue reading
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Version 2.0
Last week’s WOD: Weighlifting: 70-80% of 1 RM Every 3:00 Minutes x 5 Sets I used the 15# barbell and initially grabbed 15# plates but the plates felt SO heavy that I opted for 10# plates for the first round then added 2.5# for the rest of the 4 rounds. The old me would have… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: Tuesday, August 26, 2025 at 6:26 pm ET
DW called and left me a message letting me know that Māmā had passed away. I fell to my knees in shock, wept out loud – ugly cried, heartbroken, and could not regain my composure to immediately return her call. I asked DW how Māmā died but she could not understand what I was asking.… Continue reading
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Death, Greed, & Drama: A Therapeutic Series of Letting Go
My mother unexpectedly passed away in August 2025, and life has been full of family drama driven by greed. So, I will be publishing a series of posts as an attempt to work through emotions, internal dissonance, and find some peace in the turmoil. Continue reading
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BODY RECOMP: Post Day-30
NUTRITION: I must admit the first post 30-days after competing the nutrition program had been fraught with life challenges and traveling for work. But I feel now I have enough knowledge to allow myself some grace to navigate through. The current daily caloric intake is up from 1550 to 1650. PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES: I have made… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 235
The end to the new beginning. Body recomposition was a long and tedious process, one I would not have been able to accomplish of my own. I enrolled in the nutrition program to accomplish two goals – to lose body fat and to improve my bloodwork numbers. It’s easy to lose weight but its near… Continue reading
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Messy Things
The early morning in mid-September is shrouded in darkness, seems fitting for the current state of things. I know in the very depth of my soul that the proverbial light at the end of this long, dark, and arduous tunnel, but I cannot even see a glimmer right now. Guided only by my faith that… Continue reading
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Soldier On
The inevitable response to death always seems to lead to greed & thirst for power. I have been burdened with an insurmountable task with no access to resources. There is no opportunity to properly grieve, or take a breath, or process as I must just soldier on. Continue reading
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All About the Macros
Successful body recomposition is all about nutrition, specifically macro nutrition. WHY? Macronutrients are essential nutrients that the body needs in large amounts to provide energy and support various bodily functions. The three main macro nutrients that most nutrition apps track are carbohydrate, fat, and protein. The percentages of all three should total 100% and the… Continue reading
#LiftHeavyShit, Beef, Carbohydrate, Chicken, Chicken Breast, Chobani Plain Nonfat Greek Yogurt, Chobani Plain Whole Milk Greek Yogurt, Crossfit, Dave’s Killer Bread Cinnamon Raisin Remix Organic Bagels, Fairlife, Fairlife Nutrition Plan, Fat, Food Scale, Food Tracking App, Lifting, Lifting Heavy, Macro, Macro Nutrients, Mayo Clinic, menopause, MyFitnessPal, MyNetDiary, Perimenopause, Port, Protein, Salmon, Sarcopenia, Strength Training, Women Weightlifting -
Disruptions
I like routines. I am driven by goals. I faithfully abide by my routines to reach my goals. And you would think the having served in the Army for 11 years is where my love of routines, organization, and discipline were developed. But it wasn’t. Our motto in the Army was everything was ‘locked in… Continue reading
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Why Not Me?
I have decided to enter a local CF comp at the end of September. It gives me over two months to train for it. It’s a ‘shot-gun’ style comp with a 4-person team (M/M/F/F). After some recruiting and begging, I managed to assemble a fairly strong team but looking at the others I couldn’t help… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 98
NUTRITION: The week started out with a flat tire which not only resulted in me missing Monday night class, but I sat at a gas station parking lot for hours. The rest of the week I just felt off, and I opted for some comfort food choices over nutrition-rich ones. The best part is I… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 63
NUTRITION: About 2 months in, this is the first week I have managed to eat an average of 1667 calories (Goal 1650-1750 calories) and consumed enough protein (Goal 100-125g). PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES: Simple but powerful question – Is This Heavy Enough (“ITHE”) is one of the most valuable tools that my Nutrition Coach had provided. Every… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 35
NUTRITION: Feeling very overwhelmed with my new total caloric intake of 1650-1850 – just looking at those numbers makes me internally frantic. I have not consumed over 1200-1400 calories for over a decade, and even though I am completely petrified, I must trust the process because what I have been doing on my own wasn’t… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 14
I had no idea that I had to take weekly progress photos – what a drag! I had read an article where a personal trainer who specialized in training older people recommended skipping typical gym class warmups because that is where older adults have the higher risk of injury. With age comes decreased muscle elasticity,… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: Day 7
My first Nutrition Check In. Completed my first week of consciously & proactively eating a total of 100g of protein a day by making sure I had protein in some form at each meal. What I found challenging was to consume enough protein and not go over on calories. And it was challenging to keep… Continue reading
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Body Recomp: I Have Questions
I literally had an entire page of question for my Tribe coach about the nutrition program. Everything from the logistics of how the program would work to cost to timelines. After about a 30 minute discussion I decided to enroll in the nutrition program because what I was doing was not working and I had… Continue reading
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Baby Steps: Breakfast
After weeks of back & forth with my Tribe Coach about the importance of breakfast, I started today with breakfast. It has literally been decades since I’ve had breakfast because it was just an easy meal to bypass, suppress, making room for lunch. My First Breakfast: Total Calories 505 (62g Carbs (41%) / 25g Protein… Continue reading
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My Book List
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be an avid reader like Bàba. He can always be found either hunched over his large metal desk with his fateful blue ballpoint pen writing or he had a book in his hand reading. No matter where he was, he did one or the… Continue reading
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The Angry Typist 